Get sorted with the good, old “P-K”

grew up in Pretoria in the 1990’s. In high school (which was pretty close to an Afrikaans high school and located in a typically mixed English / Afrikaans neighborhood) the term “P-K” was somehow coined. If you don’t know what that is, I am not going to explain, but suffice to say that it involves the use of the palmar manus and swinging it across the air to make contact with the buccal of the often surprised recipient, and is from Afrikaans descent.

Side effects of this phenomenon include:

  1. A sense of gratification from the provider
  2. Nasal mucus flies
  3. The observing of stellar scintillation by the recipient. And…
  4. Quite often – a sense of superb clarity on the part of the recipient

I contend that the old “P-K” offers a solution to some of the many challenges in society today. Let’s look at some hypothetical examples:

Suppose there was a teenager who did not want any discipline. His parents are divorced and he moves between them – and his grandmother, depending on whom he has most recently hurt/disappointed, and depending on where he thinks he is most likely to get his own way. His schooling is in the balance and his future looks bleaker and bleaker. Long lectures, trips to social worker and punishment don’t work. What is the solution?

Suppose also that we have a person in the position of relative authority. This person is barely literate, barely eloquent, but has incredible reach. Suppose such a person is way beyond the age where he should be reasonably acquiring new life partners, but continues to do so because he is allowed to – albeit without much regard as to what the impact of this is to those around him, or what perception about himself this could create.

This man is an adult, and he is well within his rights, but in the greater scheme of things could benefit from a wakeup call. What is the solution?

  • Give this man, and that child a “P-K!”

I am very aware of the legal limitation placed on corporal punishment, or the violation of people’s rights, so I propose a framework to make this work. Similar to the way our South African trade unions, the provider could seek a protected injunction that specifies a future date and time for the event. The “P-K” could then be administered in a safe, free and fair way that is void of any legal repercussions.

There you go – democratic, free, fair, legal and effective.

Because we’re living in a world where the protected human rights are at a tipping point – starting to make no sense, perhaps making some nasal mucus fly may pro-actively solve some contemporary challenges and impart some instantaneous enlightenment.